Pet Loss and Grief
Losing a pet is one of the most difficult experiences you can go through. They are a family member. In simple terms, it isn’t just losing an animal; but it is losing a best friend and a confidant. This experience can flip your world on its head and make getting through each day difficult.
My pal Arrow was my soulmate. We shared a bond that will never be broken and since his death, in July of 2018, my life has never been the same. The loss deeply shook me, but in all dark times, there is light. It was in this experience that I realized my passion was in animal bereavement.
Pet loss is under the umbrella of disenfranchised grief. Society isn’t always open to accepting the mourning of a companion animal and sometimes it’s difficult for others to fully understand.
Occasionally, we may hear things like “he was just a dog/cat/horse/bunny” or “you can buy another one”. Comments like these leave us confused and conflicted on how we should feel when we go through a tragic experience like the loss of a pet. However, it is important to remember that it is important to take the time to grieve the loss.
Research shows that the experience of loss is more about the attachment we held rather than the species; it is about how meaningful the relationship was. It has as large of an impact on our mental health as any other death of a loved one. Our animals may even fulfill attachment needs that are not otherwise met as they are the beings who give us true unconditional love and loyalty. Grief counselling is available for the loss of a pet.
At Home Skills to Deal with Grief (for Pets)
Continuing bonds
This is the concept that the relationship does not end at death. We are able to maintain our bonds with our pets even when they are no longer with us. We can do this by visiting their favourite park, holding onto their collar, saying hi to them when we walk by their photo, etc. Healing from the loss does not mean forgetting about them.
Memorials
Our animals deserve memorials as well. Whether it is a ceremony with close family, a video shared online, or a private moment of spreading ashes, a memorial can be meaningful. It also allows us to acknowledge the impact of our loss as well as the impact of their life.
Dual Process Model
We need to give space for our loss. We need to feel the emotions related to it in order to heal. But life still happens. Many of us aren’t able to stop our lives and it is arguably unhealthy to always stay in the pain. We need to have moments of pain and moments of joy in order for our lives to still have meaning.
Social Support
People find connecting with others during the grieving process helpful. We need support from those around us. Please find out more about our psychoeducational support groups.
Resources:
When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing- Dr. Alan Wolfelt