I recently read that we cannot control our thoughts, but we can control how we react to them. This really resonated with me. I have always talked about how we cannot fight thoughts by saying “don’t think negatively”. Fighting negative thoughts only gives them more power. I like the concept of being able to control how we react to them. There is something about being able to control my reactions that makes me feel more empowered to react in a way that will benefit my situation.

I have been practicing this concept for a while without realizing what I was practicing. I usually take a moment to consider if becoming upset will change the situation. If I allow my stressful thoughts about my negative situation to control my reaction, I spend hours engaged in behaviours that only make me feel worse. I might express my anger when dealing with others. Or isolate myself and dwell on the negative situation. Instead I consider “will this change the situation?” If not, why waste the energy?

I had a hell of a week. First, I lost my engagement ring while running. Then, my furnace was blowing nothing but cold air when we turned it on. Lastly, my car died on me out of nowhere. I had a moment after each instant when I wanted to give in and let my negative thoughts take me on a ride. But I stopped and thought “will this make the situation better?” If I got angry with myself, would my ring magically reappear? If I stressed about how much my furnace would cost to fix, would it magically be repaired? If I sat in my driveway and cancelled my day to focus on my bad luck, would my car magically start running again? No. But I would miss out on all of the wonderful, beautiful moments that I had along the way.

I’m not saying don’t feel what you need to feel. I’m saying don’t let you thoughts control your reactions. Be mindful of your responses and what responses put you in a better position.

**I am also aware that my social location allows me to not lose my housing or other basic needs when financial issues present themselves. These are simply examples from my life.**