I was recently listening to Emily and Amelia Nagoski on Brene Brown’s podcast Unlocking Us. I was struck by their explanation of stress as a tunnel. They discussed how there is a beginning, middle, and end to stress which is outside of when the stressor ends. They shared the neurological impacts when we get stuck in the middle and keep stress in our bodies. One of the methods they discussed to finish the stress cycle and find some relief was creating something.

Using art is a powerful tool for many of us when we are trapped in our emotions. It can be a light out of the dark even when it represents the difficult time. This got me thinking about my tattoos. I have many tattoos on my body. Some have more meaning than others. But many of them were designed and placed on my body during challenging times. They often signified the end of this tunnel. I considered my tattoos as a way to remember certain times in my life.

I have two tattoos for both of the dogs I have lost. After my childhood companion Spencer died, I immediately began thinking of tattoo ideas to commemorate him. I thought I was using these ideas as a way to honour him and keep his memory alive. This process of cultivating ideas for a new tattoo and having it placed forever over my heart was a soothing time within my grief. I chose to use the image of his pawprint we received from the vet after his death. The second tattoo is an arrow on my arm for my dog Arrow. It was done while he was still alive but we knew his time was limited. I was definitely inside of anticipatory grief as we knew that he only had a matter of months left. I again found the process to be comforting. Between trading drawn images with the artist and having it placed on my arm, there was some relief from the emotional pain I was experiencing.

I am now thinking of these experiences within the context of moving through a challenging emotion. I think about the experience of creating something and how designing these tattoos gave me solace in these difficult times. Was the process of creating something helping me process these painful emotions? Was the process of planning the tattoo just as relieving as getting a memorial tattoo? As I look back, I believe that it was.

Tattoos might not be for everyone. Maybe your creativity is drawing, creating a memory box, designing a space, writing poetry, creating music, etc. There are so many options to create something to feel the painful feelings while not getting stuck in them. Processing our emotions is hugely important and creativity can help us achieve this.

I definitely look forward to reading Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski to learn more about fully feeling all of our feelings in order to get through them.