Many of us have heard about how you have to surround yourself with successful people. The idea that you are the average of the five people closest to you. When I first heard this concept, I thought of how successful or goal oriented people are. I thought about where my friends were at in terms of their career and athletic achievements. I had an internal rejection of this concept because I did not want to judge my friends based on such a quantifiable social structure.

I stopped considering this concept and just surrounded myself with who I wanted to be near. I let my internal compass guide me to those I felt comfortable with. Those who I felt I could be my most true self with. I took a step back and considered who I was surrounding myself with. I can honestly say that I have some of the most amazing people in my life. Here is how I choose to judge those around me.

Support

There is nothing quite like knowing you have multiple people you can turn to in need. People who will have your back during any crisis and will do so without expecting anything in return.

Vulnerability

I am always so proud of my friends when we can be honest and discuss how we are trying to better ourselves through counselling, treatment, medication, meditation, etc. To have a group of people show their true selves without fear of judgement is a truly powerful experience.

Belief in Each Other

My friends have dreams. They might not look like my dreams. They might not be quantifiable capitalistic dreams. But I will do anything to help them succeed and I know they would do the same for me.

Laughter

Not everything has to be so damn serious. Feed your soul in many ways. My friends can go between discussing how they are working towards a better version of themselves and belly laughing over the most ridiculous things. Get yourself a group of friends who can do both.

Bottom line, let your soul guide you to your true people. It goes beyond who is successful. Or “good vibes only”. Find your tribe that makes your heart happy. Those are your people.